Reprint from Rick Segal – Retail Marketing Guru
I, like many people, lost money on paper with the fall of Wall Street over the last two weeks. My broker and my son, who is a well respected trader who works for Fidelity Investments, have assured me that I must stick to the plan of dollar cost averaging that was established during a less volatile time period.
That all sounds good, but when you are seeing years of savings drift away day after day, it does take its toll. So what do I do? I do the thing any strong American Man would do. I decided to whine. Not just whine, I complained, I cried, I blamed the Republicans, then the Democrats, then the government, then the thieves on Wall Street. I became a whining complaining fool that no one wanted to be around.
Then I FINALLY met my match with one of my oldest 40+ year friends who put the world back in perspective for me. My friend is a single mom who raised her son working only part time due to medical issues at a University in Cleveland, OH.
After listening to me whine and rant for a respectable time period she finally said, “Are you done?” Now Maxene is a soft spoken woman who is painfully honest and she calls it like she sees it. If you should cross the line of reason, her soft spoken nature turns into an attacking tiger. Well, you guessed it. I got the attacking tiger and it wasn’t Tony. She slapped me on the side of the head and gave me a dose of reality.
I don’t have space to share the gory details and I was also embarrassed that I needed to hear what she told me. I suppose the best way to sum it up was the reference she made to the old story of the person who complained that she didn’t have any shoes until she saw the person without a foot.
Now that was certainly as graphic as I needed to curl up in a ball and feel totally embarrassed by my behavior. But then she proceeded to filet me like a master chef with a brand new Ginza Knife. Her weapon was a simple poignant story that was not a business example but an interpersonal (you know those touchy feely kind of stories) that gave me one of those Eureka Moments that left my bottom jaw wide open, sort of like saying, “I should have had a V8.”
It was the story of a couple that she had been friendly with for a long time that were going through some difficult times in their relationship. (BTW my friend should have been an analyst.) She explained that the two people really loved each other but they were getting caught up in protocol, procedures, or the pecking order. Maxene listened to both of them until she finally quoted me. She told them, “Don’t worry about the mule going blind, just load the wagon.” (That is my all time favorite quote because it applies to so many business applications and issues with employees.) She flattered me by using my material but I just couldn’t understand the application here.
Now I must admit that really frustrated her and actually she started to lose it with me when she said, “Don’t you understand what your own quote means?” I didn’t shout back because she was trying to help me but I was flat footed and didn’t have a clue what she meant.
I said that the quote means that people are always worrying about things that might never happen. For example, I don’t want to take the car out because it might rain. Or I wouldn’t do that because someone might not like it. Or my favorite–Don’t schedule a certain person because she might get sick.
Then she challenged me when she said I was missing the beauty of the whole quote by interpreting it in a very narrow-minded way referencing it only to starting a project. It applies to anything that distracts us from our goal or path. She said her friends had developed a Paralysis from Analysis. They had gotten bogged down with who should do what and when they should do it as opposed to just living their lives. They were worrying about the mule going blind. They stopped talking about how something should or shouldn’t be done and they just did it. (Thanks Nike!)
Then I got the rest of my lecture that turned the light switch on for me. She politely complimented me on all of my business successes. Then came the dagger when she said that I hadn’t built all of my businesses over the years by whining, complaining, or blaming other people. I had done it myself! I wasn’t worrying if the mule was going to go blind, I had just loaded the wagon.
It not only made perfect sense, but it was such a freeing feeling knowing what I had to do and not to do. I swear my blood pressure dropped about 20 points. Of course I felt more than a little embarrassed. No, actually I felt like a big jerk. But sometimes we do need people around us who aren’t afraid to tell us the things we need to hear. Focus on what you can control. When you have a friend who’s not afraid to slap you on the side of the head and use your own words to make a point, appreciate them. They are your most powerful and humbling asset because they are the only people who can point out the best solutions that are right under our noses. And don’t forget: just load the wagon!
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